Hello World...    My name is Mandea. I've struggled with weight for most of my life, and I've decided that now is the time to talk about it. I've decided to create this blog to write down my struggles and triumphs with my weight loss, and hopefully to inspire others to finally jump on the bandwagon (and stay on it!!) For longer than two weeks, a personal record of mine. ;)    I have bad knees... and that is my biggest excuse for "letting myself go". I had my first patellan (knee cap) realignment surgery done November 9, 2007, the second patellan realignment surgery done on July 30, 2009, and now tomorrow... October 7, 2010 I'm having the screw taken out of my left knee. (The right screw was removed when the left realignment was done.) I have been using these surgeries as my excuse for not being able to work out - I know that with 100% certainty. I just keep putting off working out because for some reason of which I can't name, I don't feel that I am able to fight through the pain. I mean, in all fairness, my knees hurt like hell,... but the "me" that's inside of this hot mess really would LOVE to fight through the pain so that I could accomplish something that I can be proud of!! Sitting on the couch, eating chips and drinking pop doesn't seem to offer the same type of praise and self-worth. (I wish to GOD it did, though... if we're being honest.)   So, the reason I've decided to start blogging is because I was told that tonight, the night before my surgery... I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything at all from midnight tonight until after my surgery... and I don't even go into the hospital until 3:30pm tomorrow afternoon, and lets be honest... not being able to eat scares the %&*@ out of me. I want something to keep me motivated. I want to be able to express myself openly about the true and honest struggles I'm facing. But most importantly, I want to understand WHY I do this to myself. Why don't I care about myself enough to just take care of ME?! I'm always so busy taking care of everyone else that I neglect myself.    A few things about me:   Height: 5'7 Weight: 190lbs Goal: 125-130lbs (As long as I don't look like a skeleton) Age: 23 From: Woodstock, ON, Canada   I have a bit of help with keeping me motivated; it comes in the form of two good friends. Katy and Katherine. :)    As of right now, I've got all twelve of the P90X videos, a few Jillian Michaels videos, some ZUMBA (cardio/dance work out), and Yoga... which I've honestly come to love.  Wish me luck! Here we go! :D

So. I've been having alot of health issues lately. I have decided that I really want to try to lose some weight. I'm kinda discouraged because I've tried so so many times before and I lose a little weight, then I just quit. I'm hoping this time I find the motivation I need to stick with it, and lose a significant amount of weight. Hopefully I'll be able to join the gym at the beginning of next month. Hopefully I'll be reporting positive results in the near future.

There is a buzz around with those joining the BLL.  I am getting more motivated watching everyone at least think and make better choices during the day!

So, I am joining this club in hopes that I get enough motivation to really lose weight this time and change the way that I eat and live.  I have lived most of my life being the fat one or the chubby one and I am just getting sick of it.  I believe that it holds me back in life.  Thank you everyone!!

I believe that losing weight shouldn't be forced on someone. YOU must decide to lose the weight yourself. I've had people tell me I'm fat and that I shd lose weight for years and now I've decided to. I've been 230 lbs. for tthe past few months and I'm tired of it. I looked in the mirror one morning and decided it was time to change and change I shall.That is my motivation, my choice